Promoting Sexual Ignorance in the Name of God

Oh, for Pete's sake!

I have written before about how I believe the "church," by which I mean the insitiution of christian religions in general, is responsible for the ruination of millions of sex lives and by extension, marriages. And don't get me started on the countless hang-ups so many people have. I keep hoping that now, since most of humanity has made it into the 21st century, things will change. I wish these people would get themselves and their dirty little minds out of the dark ages and start to think like modern human beings.

I keep getting disappointed. It seems that those same ostrich-inspired individuals who openly and unashamedly refute so much that science has taught us, are on the prowl again. It's not enough to insinst on forced sexual ignorance for their own children. Now they want to make sure the whole f'ing world remains just as stupid and blind as they are.

If you like getting fired up about other people's willful ignorence, read on!

The medical website Medilexicon ran an article on September 9, 2009, about the new sex education guidelines that will soon be released to educators all over the world to help develop sex and health education curricula. Here is the lead of the article:

The United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organization this week is scheduled to release draft international sex education guidelines, the New York Times reports. The guidelines -- which UNESCO, the World Health Organization and UNICEF have been working on for more than two years -- are designed to curb the spread of HIV/AIDS, improve sexual health and reduce the number of illegal abortions through sex education. Once finalized, the guidelines will be internationally distributed to education ministries, school systems and teachers to help direct educators in teaching students about their bodies, sex, relationships and sexually transmitted infections. . . .

Conservative and religious groups, mostly from the U.S., (emphasis mine) have attacked a June draft of the guidelines for encouraging discussions on condom use, masturbation and the statement that sexual abstinence is "only one of a range of choices available to young people" to prevent STIs and unintended pregnancies. The groups also have criticized the guidelines' assertion that "legal abortion performed under sterile conditions by medically trained personnel is safe." The guidelines encourage discussing "access to safe abortion and post-abortion care" and the "use and misuse of emergency contraception" with students ages 12 to 15.

The full text of this article ran here.

Realize, the people writing these guidelines are respected professionals in the international health community. Two years worth of research, discussion, and work has so far gone into writing this document. Most of the world seems to be OK with the guidelines as they were published (in draft form) last June. Only some conservative and religious groups, mainly American ones, want to fly in the face of scientific fact and professional expertise, to claim that sexual abstinence is the only way to sexual safety, and that proper medical abortions are unsafe. In pigheadedly promoting thier own agendas, without any understanding of the realities young people face all over the world, they would choose to risk the life and health of millions.

How sick. How sad. How pathetic that the majority of these dissenters come from America, one of the most affluent and medically advanced countries in the world.

How disheartening, that this is where our freedom of religion has landed us. Here we have the freedom to promote dangerous misinformation in the name of Jesus, who claimed to be "the light and the truth."

There you have it. Welcome to America, land of the free, home of the ignorant.

Things that make me go . . . . WTF???

Sometimes I feel like I must have seen every strange sexual thing under the sun. You would think I would be used to it by now. But, some things guys do still mystify me. For the life of me, I cannot imagine why any man would do the following things:

1. The blow job. I don't mean a real blow job, I mean that weird thing some guys do when they actually blow on me. Why? Do they think I am overheated and want to cool me off? Do they see some dust on me that they want to get rid of? I had one gentleman spend the entire dance blowing up my nose. No matter how I moved or bent to get out of his way, he matched my every move to continue blowing into my nostrils. When I asked him to stop, he paused for about 30 seconds, then resumed blowing.

2. The lizard tongue. This is when the gentleman darts his tongue in and out of his mouth in a lizard-like motion, while looking soulfully into my eyes. The tongue always looks pointy and hard, like a turtle's. I think this is supposed to make me think of the joys of cunnilingus? It really makes me think of reptiles, which are not sexy!

3. The wet Willy. Nibbling on an earlobe is one thing. Trying to lick my brain is something else entirely! 'Nuff said.

4. Massaging my internal organs. I had this happen just the other night. I turned to face away from my gentleman. He grabbed my abdomen between my belly button and the top of my pubic bone, and started kneading away on me like he was trying to make bread. My lower intestine works just fine, thank you!

A related move is when they jab their thumbs into my femoral arteries and squeeze. (The thick red artery in the picture to the right is the femoral. ) This hurts like hell.

5. Attempting to palpate my spine through my belly button. I am not a belly button person. And although I understand the sexual appeal for some people, I don't care for the sensation of having mine touched. It's even more of a mystery why a man would forcefully jam his finger or thumb into my navel and shove as hard as he can. Does he think that is a second vagina or something? What does he expect to find in there, except lint? There are no special nerve centers in there, and you can't reach my g-spot that way. Like the artery jabbing, it hurts.

6. Pulling on my clothes. There are two options here. One, he is pulling on my top, and it is a topless joint. The top is coming off in a minute anyway, so why pull on it? Or two, he is pulling on my top, and it is not a topless joint, in which case I can't take the top off at all, so why pull on it?

7. Pulling on my butt-cheeks. People like to grab one cheek in each hand and pull, like they are splitting a coconut. What are they looking for, loose change?

8. Giving me a wedgie. Aren't we all out of junior high by now?

9. The spring-loaded hand. He grabs for my crotch. I intercept him and push his hand away. He grabs again. I push him away . . . again. He grabs again. I push him away forcefully and give him a dirty look. He grabs again. I push him away and say, "NO!" He grabs yet again. I push him away, say "NO!" and slap his hand. He looks hurt and says, "What did I do?"

10. The newest annoying, bizarre mystery behavior to date: shoving their hands down the back of my nylons. Just like trying to split my butt-cheeks like a peach, what would make somebody want to do that? What do they think they are going to find down there? Would they really want it if they did find it? Do I really want to know?

Really, anybody who subscribes to the women-are-complicated-guys-are-easy-to-understand theory, needs to walk around in my 6-inch heels for a while. With some people, nothing they do seems to make any sense; and with many people, some things they do make no sense; and may the gods help anyone who tries to understand it.

Why do people do this?

For some reason, I keep getting e-mails, IM's, and other communication from people who have no purpose other than to criticize me for being a dancer. Here is a response I wrote to one of them, when I was in an exceptionally articulate mood. My latest is a 24 year old boy in LA who cannot seem to string together a complete sentence, but still thinks he knows more than I do about my life. Mind you, he has not met me, has not read my blog, nor even set foot is a strip club, but he is going to make me "see the light."

Dude . . . why?

Why do you care?

We live thousands of miles from each other. We will probably never, ever meet. You don't drink, and you don't like strip clubs. We probably have nothing in common.

So why on earth do you care what I do to earn my bread? It isn't interfering with you earning yours.

And furthermore, why ME? What makes me different from all the other dancers out there? OF all the thousands of dancers who have profiles on Yahoo or MySpace or wherever it is you found me, what makes ME so special?

I have long feared I am a nut magnet, but now I am concerned about being a magnet for condescending assholes as well.

Dorky IM Collection, First Edition

Here is a collection of completely dorky IM’s I have had the fun of receiving.

lastnighttogather: is this you >>>>>>>>>>>>>(referring to avatar)

c_c_oreilly: no actually I am a 50 year old fat bald guy who gets off on pretending to be a stripper.

lastnighttogather: =))

c_c_oreilly: about your screen name–I’m confused. last night to gather—what? Berries?

lastnighttogather: sorry bye pal

c_c_oreilly: you didn’t really believe me, did you?

c_c_oreilly: well, just for believing that, I am going to add you to my “Completely Dorky IM” List on my website, http://colleenoreilly.com

I can only believe that this person is a little bit . . . challenged. He apparently really believed that crack. A real middle aged man trying to impersonate a stripper would not give the game away that fast!

c_c_oreilly: read my profile and look at my website before you ask any more stupid questions

toodamnsharp: fuck u lool…i have read ur profile and u say there u do sex for fun….so how can I benefit from this?….this is not a stupid Q as u claimed

What my profile says is that I believe sex is fun. I do believe that. It ALSO says I am married and faithful to my husband and that I am NOT looking for an extra-marital relationship.

a_guy_of_chat: hi

c_c_oreilly: hi greg

a_guy_of_chat: hello Colleen

c_c_oreilly: what are you up to?

a_guy_of_chat: nothing at the moment

c_c_oreilly: same here. I just put dinner in the oven and am sitting down for a few minutes

a_guy_of_chat: i just got home a little earlier, was outside earlier and just got a shower and cleaned up

a_guy_of_chat: all alone here

c_c_oreilly: mmmmmmmmmmmkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy

a_guy_of_chat: too bad i dont have any company

c_c_oreilly: I guess I know where that is leading

a_guy_of_chat: well, probably

c_c_oreilly: forget it.

c_c_oreilly: i am not here to view your stupid web cam or tell you a bedtime story for free

a_guy_of_chat: well, i see how it is then, you’re not worth paying for anyway

a_guy_of_chat: forget everything

c_c_oreilly: what, you expected me to perform a service like that for you, just because you asked me to?

This conversation is remarkable only in that I actually knew this person, and he knew I was married and I don’t fool around. Actually, come to think of it, it was somewhat remarkable that he actually thought I would do any of that for free, when I make it CLEAR that I am a PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER and I don’t do any of that stuff even for money. Sigh.

This next guy just won’t give up:

lustforlove2k (8/8/2006 5:25:51 PM): I love your sparkling eyes, I admire your strawberry lips, I adore your sweet smiles. You have very sweet, sensual, juicy chin. A girl with awesome forehead. You have very beautiful chin.I would love to taste it softly like a strawberry feeling your lower lip and chin gently sucking on it like a mango tasting all juices…You are very sweet princess.

Sucking on my chin? Ewwwwwwww……

Here he is again:

lustforlove2k (8/12/2006 12:06:03 AM): Lay down between the sheets let your body feel the need the lust overpowers makes your heart skip a beat. Feel the want and desire within you rise I see the look of temptation now burning in your eyes. Kissing you in places that only lovers see caressing you with fingers that can’t supress the need Torture feels so good when your deep inside me passion takes control and makes our love complete.

And again:

lustforlove2k:(4/12/07)

Rose petals

Soft and full

Delicate scent entices

Deep red hue of blood

Masking pink center

Fingertips caressing

Chasing traces of dew

Trailing trickles of moisture

Across lips eager to taste

Breathing deeply

Drawing close to the bloom

Unafraid of thorns

Craving

Longing

To crawl inside

To know

The heart of a rose

Stay tuned for more sap-tastic poetry from lustforlove2k. And now for something completely different:

sexy_raymond35 (9/16/2006 7:50:30 AM): Hello,Am Raymond,am from England and am looking for a representative in the states who will be working for us as a partime worker and we are willing to pay 10% for every transaction,which wouldnt affect ur present state of work,if u are interested pls am online u can chat with me.

This is supposed to look like a business proposal? Who is he kidding?

tony2182000: hi sexy the playpen an manhiem

ColleenOReilly: the one and only

tony2182000: do you meet

tony2182000: i live close bye

tony2182000: rosemont

tony2182000: im married and need descreat

tony2182000: you there sexy

ColleenOReilly: if you are married you should be banging your wife, or else get a divorce. I am an entertainer not a prostitute

ColleenOReilly: I wish I knew who your wife is so I could send her this conversation

ColleenOReilly: She deserves to know what a lying deceitful scumbag she married

tony2182000: im not the one who works at the play pen i know what goes on there

ColleenOReilly: apparently not as much as you think you do. We are all different and I am not cheating on MY spouse.

I have nothing to say to that.

tryitall28: My wife asked me to have a threesome with her and another man, do you think i should consider it?

ColleenOReilly: why on earth are you asking me?

I mean, do I LOOK like Dear Abby?

woltazar (11/15/2006 6:27:27 PM): i hope u r alive and have cam too

I hope I am alive, too. Why would he be IM’ing me if I wasn’t?

tw.barrister: How are you, wishing you a good day.I am Barrister Taiwo, i looked through your profile now and i was so very intrested in it. So i think i would like to have you as my girlfriend and maybe more later. Because i am looking for a woman that is highly qualified, understanding the life, takes care of her soulmate, independent, ready to assist me in all i do, and she must be very beautiful and attractive woman.Dear, if you find yourself as same as the above description, please don’t hesitate to drop me a message. Pls note; all your future dream will be provided to you. God blessing and Good luck all. Thanks. Barrister Taiwo Adekola.tw.barrister@yahoo.com. I am online on yahoo messenger too you can im me.

c_c_oreilly: I am so very happy to hear from you. I have always wanted to be a contract bride. Please respond immediately with your terms.

That concludes today’ s collection of Dorky IM’s. Stay tuned for more fun and games from Colleen’s Cyber Playground.

RUDE!

Normally I love what I do. It’s fun and interesting, reasonably challenging without being terribly demanding, and you can’t beat the hours. And then there are days . . . .

Today was one of them. It started out rough because I worked in two places yesterday, and didn’t get into bed until 3 am. Roughly 3 1/2 hours later, I was awakened by a mighty urge to pee (this normally never happens) and a driving desire to write about recycling. And no, it’s not that time, and no, I’m not preggers. Then I would up spending $77 on a doctor visit for kiddo’s unrelenting cough, and $40 on antibiotics. Ted told me what he had spent on kiddo’s Santa gift, and it was 3 digits. And there is another part of the gift that needs to be bought. And then I got to work late and the bar was empty of anyone but girls.

Ordinarily, I am very patient and forgiving when men say weird, bizarre, or just plain rude things. In all my years of dancing, I have learned that silence is usually the better part of discretion. But given the circumstances, I think any reasonable person can see why my fuse was a tad bit short today. Note I said a reasonable person. We had a shortage of those today. Here are some excerpts my night at work.

Me: Thank you for those two dances, I had a wonderful time. (Lie, lie, lie. This guy was handsy, smelly, and all over despicable. He slobbered on my neck.)
Him: Let’s go have another drink.
Me: Let’s settle up for those dances first.
Him: Didn’t I already pay you?
Me: No.
Him: Yes I did.
Me: Nope, sorry. Look in my purse, I don’t have any money.
He grudgingly produces payment for one dance.
Me: No, that was two dances.
Him: No, it was one.
It just goes on from here, with lots of “did not’s” and “did too’s” with the end result being that I did not get paid for the second dance. Funny thing is, I had a premonition in the middle of the second dance that that was going to happen.

Me: Hi
Customer: I don’t want any dances, I’m here to forget someone.
Me: Sweetie, a few dances with me and you’ll forget everyone.
Customer: She was a dancer. I hate dancers.
In my thought bubble: Then why on earth are you here? This is the only bar in Crown Point that has dancers.

Me: (After some random chit-chat) So, let’s go have some fun!
Customer (who is around 55 years old): I don’t want a dance with you. You know what I see when I look at you? I see a middle-aged woman who . . . (trails off after scathing look from me)
Me: Yes? Who what?
Him: Uh, uh. Well, middle aged, you know.
Me: And you know what I see? I see one homely m*ther-f*cker who I wouldn’t even give the time of day to, if I wasn’t at work.

Same customer, who is not content to let me be but chases me down and attempts to continue the conversation:
Customer: (in confrontational tone, grabbing my arm) I wasn’t trying to be rude.
Me: No, you were succeeding at being rude.
Customer: What did I say? I mean I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or anything. I was just being honest.
Me: I don’t consider 38 middle aged. (Turning away now)
Him: Well, don’t go away hurt. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You ARE middle aged.
Me: (Losing patience now) Dude, neither you nor any other man in this bar matters enough to me to hurt my feelings. Only one man matters to me right now. He is six years old and believes Santa is going to bring him a hideously expensive train set which, thanks to cheap asses like you, I cannot afford. If you want to apologize or make me feel better, you can buy a dance. C’mon, let’s go.
Him: I wouldn’t get a dance with you, you’re old.
(This same asshole then contented himself with tormenting the bartender for the rest of the night.)

Some young guy, possibly a friend of the last guy: I can’t get a dance with you, you would not be able to handle it.
Me: I can handle anything, baby. Let’s go find out.
Him: If you saw my c*ck, you wouldn’t know what to do with it.
Me: Eye roll and walk away
In my thought bubble: What in hell makes his schlong so different from all the other ones I have had time to see in my advanced years? Does it do tricks?

What is is about the holiday season that makes men act this way? Every year about this time, the bars fill up with mean people, the physically grotesque and socially stunted, who possibly cannot even pay escorts to spend quality time with them. So they come into bars full of attractive women who would ordinarily never have any thing to do with them and anyway who are NOT there to get a date, and act in the most obnoxious way possible to guarantee that even if there were a remote chance one of us might have once considered leaveing with a customer, it would not, in a million years, be with them.

Life imitates the Simpsons

In between a somewhat disappointing trip to the children’s museum (am I the only one who notices the stuff is falling apart?) and running to 4-H (Where I will now be volunteering as a leader of my son’s Cloverbud group), I made a quick supper and sat down to watch the Simpsons with Kiddo and Super Ted.

This was the episode where Marge and Homer go on a tour of wine country, and Marge starts drinking as much as Homer. In the course of it, Homer does something Really awful to Marge. He sits in the local bar where the bartender, Moe, asks him some variation of “Why the long face?” This is what happens next:

Moe: You can tell me. I’ve heard everything.

Homer whispers in Moe’s ear.

Moe: That’s awful! That’s the most horrible thing I ever heard! You . . . why, you deserve to drink watered-down beer out of a chipped mug, while sitting on a stool with a big sharp nail sticking straight up!

Moe now smacks Homer’s mug on the edge of the bar–chipping the entire rim– then pours a cup of water into Homer’s half-finished beer. He relocates Homer one stool over onto a stool with a big pointy nail sticking out of it.

Homer: Can I have some peanuts?

Moe: OK, but I get to poke you with this sharp stick (which he produces from under the bar).

Moe resumes the classic position of a bartender, leaning with one elbow on the bar, bar rag in hand, all the while poking away at Homer with his stick.

Moe: (poke, poke, poke) So, did ya see the game last night? (Poke, poke)

Now, that was possibly the funniest thing I have EVER seen on the Simpsons. Everybody I told that to at work last night (Yes, I went after 4-H) thought it was mildly amusing, except the bartender, who laughed so hard she almost wet herself!

See, you have to realize that the the part of this conversation in dark blue is the part that is really happening, and the part in lavender is what is going on inside the bartender’s head. We who work in bars totally GET IT and love it. I have, many times, had to listen to a conversation where they guy is telling me how he beat up his kids, cheated on his wife, extorted his company’s money, and stole food from starving orphans, while I smile and nod and say, Wow! what an interesting life you’ve had. Let’s go have that dance now.

Now on to work. There were few customers and many dancers, which means, once you land a seat next to a potential customer, you stay there. To get up prematurely means you risk losing your only chance for a sale in the immediate future, and furthermore you will wind up staring at the fish tank or the silent TV, with no one to talk to. So I sat with one cheap idiot who had tipped me a dollar for a 5-minute massage ( I gave it back to him), a mooncalf who was about to go on house arrest for the second time, and this third knucklehead who started talking about how he had shot his dog.

THe whole story is, the guy had been divorced and was by his own admission sleeping with any slut that would have him. The dog had a habit of waking up the women in the middle of the night and scaring them away. Well, the dog took a liking to this one woman, and allowed the woman to stay in the house. Eventually this knucklehead married the (slut) woman, on the dog’s recommendation. Eventually the (slut) woman reverted to the behavior that got her in the guy’s bed in the first place, and started sleeping with the guy’s boss. So this asshole shoots the dog.

I feel ya, Moe.

Best Lover in St. Louis??

For your enjoyment, another edition of “It ain’t easy being me, or, the Stuff I Gotta put up with.”

This started out as a couple of “hello” mesages form some guy (??) who calls himself “the best lover in St. Louis.” (bestloverinstlouis)

I don’t know whay I mess with dolts like this. Sometimes I jsut cant resist baiting them. Like Steve Irwin jabbing a rattlesnake with a stick. Retarded, but fun.

ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:40:04 AM): I’m sure you are the best lover in St. Louis, but I am really not in a position to try out your claim.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:40:15 AM): Be nice
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:40:31 AM): I am
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:40:49 AM): but first, I am amrries, and second, I am 300 miles away from you
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:40:54 AM): married
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:41:37 AM): Ever hear of friendship?
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:42:10 AM): yes.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:42:25 AM): fine
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:42:40 AM): which has nothing to do with my original statement. I am in no poistion to find out if you ar ehte bet lover in St. Louis.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:43:10 AM): so
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:43:20 AM): It is much, mjuch more than physical.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:43:23 AM): Oh my
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:45:23 AM): not looking for an emotional fling, either
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:45:34 AM): or a cyber one, for that mater
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:45:38 AM): Oh my
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:45:39 AM): matter
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:45:41 AM): How assuming of you.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:45:44 AM): Wow
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:46:09 AM): ok, wel, you dont realize the pile of stuff I have to weed through every day, jsut to open my messenger
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:46:43 AM): I would say roughly 90% of the IM’s I get from strangers are from people who have not read my porfile and want to have sex with me
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:46:49 AM): Stop treating me like the other PIGS and JACK-OFFS
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:47:07 AM): You screen name sorta puts up a red falg there
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:47:24 AM): Wow, you assume
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:47:40 AM): no, I work the odds
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:47:48 AM): Then assume
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:47:57 AM): ok, porve me wrong
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:47:58 AM): Who is in the photo to the right?
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:48:04 AM): that’s me
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:48:05 AM): I DO NOT have to.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:48:06 AM): I am me.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:48:21 AM): I deserve to be treated right, from the get go.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:48:52 AM): I am not treating you badly. just letting you now where I stand. I would not want to waste you time
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:50:42 AM): bull shit
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:52:05 AM): What exactlay did I say that was so horrible?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:52:26 AM): Stop being on edge.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:55:56 AM): o-kaaaaaaaay
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 10:56:08 AM): so, what exactly did you want?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:56:24 AM): Not a thing.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 10:56:32 AM): Fuck
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:21:36 AM): Sne dme that photo.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:21:46 AM): Please send me that photo.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:21:53 AM): why?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:22:00 AM): I like it!
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:22:12 AM): Nah
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:22:25 AM): huh?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:22:33 AM): Who is that in the photo?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:22:36 AM): It says a lot.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:22:36 AM): you can see a bunch of them ant colleenoreilly.com
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:22:42 AM): it is me
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:22:49 AM): I am a model and a dancer
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:23:44 AM): wHAT KIND OF FANCER?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:23:47 AM): dancer?
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:23:57 AM): exotic
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:24:05 AM): please read my porfile
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:24:16 AM): I did.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:24:21 AM): It is not very clear,
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:24:42 AM): i am a stripper. I dance topless for money
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:24:52 AM): No way
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:28:25 AM): Are you an A cup?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:29:09 AM): It is a pay site
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:29:31 AM): What happened to “friendship”? that is not a question you ask somebody you want for a friend
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:29:43 AM): and yes, Iknew that it was a pay site
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:30:00 AM): Friends don’t make friend pay either.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:30:11 AM): what is on the webcam?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:30:40 AM): ?
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:30:56 AM): didnt you jsut ask me to view your cam?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:31:08 AM): no
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:31:20 AM): hmm…ok. that was weird
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:31:29 AM): o.k.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:32:58 AM): so. amyway, I dont really think this whole friendship thing is going to work out. See, my friends, real and virtual, male and female, do not ask me to send them pictures of myself. They respect that my work as a model is WORK, and that I need to get paid to work, jsut like you do.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:33:22 AM): Your scanky any way.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:33:26 AM): Fake hair.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:33:31 AM): they why do you want to be my friend?
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:33:50 AM): talk about sour grapes
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:33:53 AM): You are totally fake.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:34:01 AM): oh?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:34:17 AM): Get a real job.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:34:20 AM):
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:34:27 AM): Your site is not good either.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:34:29 AM): No class.
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:34:36 AM): WHy? I make more in a hour than many people do in a day
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:34:47 AM): Illegally.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:34:51 AM): yuck
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:34:55 AM): actally, no
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:35:09 AM): I bet that you pay no taxes
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:35:15 AM): I do.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:35:19 AM): haha
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:36:24 AM): so, what I dont understand is, why were syou so upset that I was treating you like all the other jerks who jsut want to get into my pants when it turns out that you, my friend, are JUST ANOTHER JERK WHO WANTS TO GET INTO MY PANTS!
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:36:42 AM): Go fuck yourself scank
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:36:52 AM): Your the jerk and trailor trash
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:36:58 AM): BTW, this whole convo is terrific material fo rmy blog.
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:37:08 AM): F-off
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:37:11 AM): Whor
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:37:23 AM): no, sweetie. YOU couldn’t pay me
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:37:34 AM): Get a make-over scank
ColleenOReilly (11/20/2007 11:37:48 AM): how original. got any more?
bestloverinstlouis (11/20/2007 11:38:12 AM): Grow up.

Seriously Warped Article in *Glamour*!

Did anybody see this? It is a demented article in Glamour magazine about one woman who started out with a pathetic life, becane a stripper, hated her life even more, quit being a stripper, and is now trying to save all the other strippers. Among the horrendous and retarded things they are implying or even stating outright is that ladies my age cannot make money dancing and so are letting the customers "put it in" while attempting to disguise the act by throwing table cloths over thier laps. What kind of club is that? As irritated I get with the Pig Pen, that is jsut unthinkable!

I wrote this reply, and I encourage you to do reply as well. The more they hear form us dancers and the people who love us, the better they will rethink this stupid position they have. Let's tell 'em what we think!

Dear Glamour:

I have read and loved your magazine for years. However, I am very disappointed to see your article, "No One Should Have to be a Stripper."

Ms. Dust seems to be doing an important and useful service for those girls who sincerely want to get out of dancing but are not sure how. I commend her for her work and her non-judgmental attitude.

Your portrayal of exotic dancers as being, to a woman, sad, desperate individuals willing to do anything to make a buck, is absolutely disgusting.

As I write this, I am sitting in my quiet farm house, having a cup of coffee and listening to Christmas music before I leave for my shift as a dancer at a small bar in Stone Park, Illinois. My life, like that of many of my friends and colleagues, is completely normal. I myself have a wonderful husband (who has a job and does not have a drug habit) and a happy, healthy son. I provide for my family an income greater than what I made teaching science, while committing fewer hours outside the home. My work provides us with extra cash for family vacations and day trips, along with the flexibility to take weeks off at a time if I need to be with my family.

I have been dancing on and off since I was 18. In fact, I will pass my 19 year anniversary next month. As a veteran in this business, I found this statement particularly offensive:

Ahnee says she saw women "who'd been working for 18 years. They had bad plastic surgery, and they'd have to have sex with customers because they weren't in demand as dancers; they'd put a tablecloth over their lap and let the man put it in." She didn't want her life to get to that.

I know many women who are my age or older, who have naturally spectacular bodies, and are in extremely high demand. Not only do they have regular customers they have cultivated over the years; they are constantly attracting new customers who admire thirty- and forty-something women for their beauty and their conversation. We are all making a good living, and we are not throwing table cloths over our laps to do so.

Sincerely,

Colleen C. O'Reilly
colleenoreilly.com


Post Script:
About 2 dozen of us at my stripper forum site sent replies to this letter. We shared them on the forum, and I can tell you, each letter was original, articulate, and intelligent. Each of us got a patronizing form letter, but no other reply. To the best of my knowledge, none of the other letters were ever published in the "Letters to the Editor" section.