FAQ: Why do you do this job? And more abouat work

A guy really, really pissed me off yesterday by asking me, "Why do you have to do this?" meaning my work. Then he shoved his foot further down his throat by telling me that obviously my husband does not make enough money because he should be able to support me. He said it with such a smug air of superiority, it just made me want to throttle him! Since lots of people ask me why I do what I do, and want to state my position without turning this into a big rant, let me make a FAQ out of this.

Why are you a dancer?

Short answer: It pays the bills, and does not require too much of me. Working part time leaves me free to be a better wife and mother.

Longer answer: I dance because I like it. I like being around people and I like the physical, sexual nature of the work. I also like getting paid cash every day (NOT under the table--I do pay taxes!) and in proportion to how hard and how well I worked. I like the instant aspect of the work, too. I know immediately the results of what I have done, and whether I was successful in making a sale or not. I love being my own boss. And I like to think I make a difference in peoples' s lives, in a small way. I believe that entertainment and fantasy are important for people's mental health, and I like making people happy.

I am NOT dancing for lack of other opportunities. I was pre-med when I got pregnant, and then took a couple of years off to raise my son. Dancing allowed me an easy, flexible way to rejoin the work force and still be there for my family when they needed me.

Doesn't your husband make any money?

This question is irritating for its pure nosiness, but it comes up a lot. My husband also works a job that allows him to be free as much of the time as possible, to be with our son. He makes a reasonable amount of money, but not a fortune. He supported us alone for 2 years, and it was pure hell. I also grew up with a mother who refused to work outside the home, and that was also very hard. I would rather work and make my own money that I can save or spend on things to make our lives better, than to sit around the house and be too broke to do anything.

Why don't you do something else?

I will, eventually. Right now I want to be available for my son, to give him the very best start in life. I can't give up sleep, which I would have to do if I chose to 1) pursue an 9 to 5, or 2) go back to college, and still give my son hours and hours of my undivided attention. I also do not want to spend a large amount of time and money on more education, only to later decide it's not what I want to pursue.

What do you think you would like to do?

Something related to science, definitely. I might go into something related to DNA and molecular biology (me second degree) or possibly something related to nature and ecology. Or possibly health and nutrition. I know I do NOT want to be a clinical psychologist (my first degree) or a teacher again. I am also fairly sure I don't want to make any of my hobbies (singing, cooking, writing, etc) my full time work.

FAQ: What do you do all day?

People frequently ask me what I do when I am not at work. Most people assume I have another job. Others think I sleep until noon and then get up and watch soap operas. A few think I do coke all day or turn tricks on the side. But the truth is, I have a very normal and sort of wholesome personal life. I homeschool my son and spend lots of time with him. I enjoy cooking and baking and usually turn out several home-cooked items (meals, baked goods, etc) every day. I garden and do some volunteer work.

Today was a pretty typical day. It went like this:

7 a. m.: Kiddo wakes me up to announce that he is now going downstairs to watch TV.

8 a. m.: alarm rings and I ignore it.

8:20 am: Drag myself out of bed and pour some coffee

8:30-9:30: Read the news on the Internet, check e-mail, possibly do a little something for web site.

9:30-10 am: Breakfast, story time

10am-1 pm: School time. This is when we do the formal lessons--Math, Reading, Spelling, Grammar, Piano (we are learning this together), Art, Science. We feed the ants in the ant farm. We read a a lot. We try to get done with this part as fast as possible so we can go do fun things like nature walks, ice skating, visiting friends, etc. Today it was selling caramel corn for a fund raiser, and looking for leaves for his leaf collection. It could just as easily have been a trip to the library or our homeschool group.

1 p.m.: Lunch and break time. Start dinner.

2 p. m.: take a shower and get ready for work

3 p. m.: leave for work (earlier if I need to stop somewhere)

I grocery shop and go to Wal-Mart in between shows or after work. When I get home I put things away, load the dishwasher, clean the kitchen, and maybe do a little work on the computer. This is when I do all the stuff I want to keep away from my kiddo, like edinting pics for my Southern Charms site. Then I colapse into bed and my soul leaves my body until later in the morning, when my kid will again wake me to tell me he is going to go watch TV now.

FAQ: Where do you live?

I have no idea why people ask me so many questions about my house, except that I continue to live in it and drive over an hour each way to work, even with gas prices being what they are. I mean, I haven't been featured in House Beautiful or anything. But, for all of you who are curious, here is my House FAQ: (and yes, people really do ask me this stuff. Like Dave Barry says, "I am not making this up!"

Where do you live?

I live in a rehabbed turn-of-the-century school house way out in the country in east-central Illinois. My street address consists of a bunch of numbers and directions. The nearest town is about 10 miles away. I can walk to Indiana.

Why the hell do you live there?

I live there because I like it. I like it because:

• It is quiet and peaceful.
• It is too far from any town to attract criminals.
• I can see zillions of stars at night.
• I have wildlife in my yard--frogs, bats, deer, squirrels, possums, moles, voles, groundhogs, and varieties of birds and butterflies I never knew existed.
• I have a bigger house for less money.
• My property taxes are about 1/4 of what they were in Cook County, for a smaller house on a smaller lot.
• I love the history of the house. I have met people who went to school here 50 years ago, when it was still a one-room school house.
• I can see the horizon from my driveway.
• I love driving to work through farm fields full of colorful plants, and seeing the land stretch away from me to the horizon. In some places, the scenery is so beautiful it takes my breath away.
• The air is so fresh and clean.
• I can go outside naked at night to hang up the towels from my shower.
• I have a front porch that you can sit out on in the summer.
• I feel like this house and the area where I live suit me better than any place else I have ever lived.

Don't you mind the drive?

Yes, I mind the drive very much. It's an easy drive, all country roads and interstate driving. But it is looooooong! An hour to 90 minutes each direction. I like driving to work, because I can see things. I also conduct a lot of boring business on my cell phone, and call my mom and fiends. I hate the drive home, when I aim already tired and just want the day to be over.

I entertain myself on the drive home by listening to books on tape, calling in posts to my Snapvine, and listening to the radio. It's still a long boring ride home. But, I figure, I like my house, and I like my job, and the drive is really a small part of my day. I can't win them all.

What is your house like?

It is a former one-room school house, built in 1900, which was rehabbed about 10 years ago into a 5-bedroom farm house. It lets in a lot of sunshine, even in the upstairs bedrooms. We look out over a farm field from both the front and the back of the house. I decorate for comfort and practicality, so the house is cozy and low-maintenance. No all-white living rooms for me!

How much land do you have?

Just less than an acre. I have a big garden, flower beds, a play area for my kiddo, and a large open space, big enough to fly a kite. There are benches and picnic areas under the trees, and a pool. We spend almost all day outside in the summer. Next summer's project will be a pond.


So there you have it. I have no idea why people want to know about my house, but I get asked about it a lot. I think I was asked about it two or 3 times just tonight.

FAQ: Stuff about my husband

Somebody told me a couple of weeks ago that they went to my site and all they found was a bunch of stuff about my husband. I don't get that, because I almost never mention him, except in passing. I actually take pains not to say too much about Mr. O'Reilly, for fear of turning people off. Since I am trying to write fairly honestly about my life, I do have to mention the man with whom I share it. So here it is. Let's just have out with it and talk about the man for a while.

Who is your husband? What is he like?

His name is Ted, and he has been my best friend for more than 20 years. He is a paramedic by trade. He is into history and model trains and and watching sports on TV. He is an excellent father. He would want me to tell you that he is the all-time sex god of the universe, but how would I know? I've been around, but not that far around! I can say that our sex life is damn good, and he does things to me that nobody else can.

What does he think of your job?

He thinks it's cool. He takes my pictures and shows them around to his friends. He brags about it. Hey--lots of guys spend an enormous amount of energy trying to get a stripper to go home with them once. He gets a stripper to come home to him every night. Occasionally he hangs out at work with me.

I have been dancing almost as long as I have known him, so he knows it's just a part of me. He has seen me at other jobs where I was so unhappy I would come home and cry or drink or both, and he knows I am happier dancing than doing anything else in the world. He loves me and wants to see me happy.

Lots of men tell me they would be jealous if their wife danced. I say, Why? I don't go home with the customers. looking cute and flirting with people is all part of the job, and I would be looking cute and flirting all the time, even if I wasn't getting paid for it. It's what I do! Anyway, there is no jealousy going on here. We trust each other. We have a good thing going and don't want to mess it up. (BTW, he has a side job driving a stripper to bachelor parties. You don't hear me crying about that, do you? It really is a matter of trust. )

How long have you been married? Been a couple?

We sort of drifted into being a couple, so we set an "official" first date on New Years Eve, December 31, 1999. It seemed like a good time to start something new. We got married in October, 2002.

How did you meet?

We worked at Wendy's together when we were in high school. We were each going with somebody else at the time, but soon became good friends.

Are you happy?

Yes, very much so. We have a good marriage, and it gets stronger the more adversity we face.

Do you cheat? Do you have an open marriage or are you swingers?

Nope. I would not cheat because I abhor lying and liars. We do not at this time include anyone else in our sex life, but who knows? Maybe someday we might.


That's it for now, folks. Those are the questions I get asked all the time. Hope that has satisfies some peoples curiosity.

What do strippers fantasize about?

Sometimes people ask me what fantasies I have or what my favorite fantasies are. To be honest, I change out my fantasies quite frequently. For example, for a while I was into male-heavy threesomes and orgies on tropical beaches. Lately (like, this week) I have been thinking about more couple-oriented scenarios.

I don't think my fantasies through from beginning to end like a story. That explains why, even though I think a lot, I have not written many fantasy stories. Rather, I get an idea, and then the images flash into my head like a slide show. This is what has been on my mind this week:

• I meet my man in a truck stop, we pretend like we have never seen each other before, and he bangs me senseless in the pay shower.
  
• We go to a place where people will be surprised but not offended, and I get on my knees in front of him to perform a public blow-job with a messy facial ending.
  
• He throws me up against a wall, pushes my skirt up around my hips, shoves my thong to one side, and rams into me, kissing and biting me so hard my lips will be bruised for a week.
  
• I take him to work and give him a lap-dance the likes of which I have never given to anyone before. One or possibly both of us will need a change of clothes at the end. Sometimes this fantasy involves another dancer and a girly make-out session, as well.
  
• He waits in the dark for me to get home, throws me on the floor, and has his way with me, however much I holler and carry on.
  
• We meet in a tacky bar and go to an even tackier motel room. He pays me before we begin.
• He comes home to find me playing with my toys in the shower. He watches for a while, sliding his pants down to free himself. When he can't just stand by and watch any more, he joins me in the shower.
• As a variation on this theme, we are in a dom/sub relationship (we aren't, in reality) and he is going to punish me for using my toys without permission. I am going to get spanked and, since I like sticking things up there so much, I will now have to submit to larger and larger (or stranger) things.
  
• We start fooling around in the kitchen and wind up finger painting each other with chocolate syrup.
• I come home to find him looking at porn on the computer or watching a movie. Without saying a word, I begin to imitate and act out whatever I see on the screen, recreating in living flesh whatever images he had been getting off on.
  
• I spend the day in a loose skirt and no underwear, giving him easy access whenever and wherever he wants.
  

OK, that's enough for now. I need to go take a shower. And it has only a little to do with getting clean . . . .

FAQ: Why are you so sexy?

Guys ask me all the time, "Why are you so sexy?"

I love sex, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with that.

A former boyfriend of mine said he thought of the word "slut" as meaning a woman who loved sex and didn't care who knew it. Well, in that case, I am the biggest slut around. I love sex. I think sex is just about the most fun you can have at speeds less than 30 miles per hour. Sex is playtime for me. I truly enjoy it. I try new things, sometimes. I like doing my favorite old things, again and again and again. I laugh during sex. I crack jokes. I stop in the middle to have some more wine. I instigate quickies because 10 minutes of fun is better than no fun. I get into goofy positions and then laugh about that. I scream and yell, and then laugh about what the neighbors must think.

And being a dancer is just about the most fun I can have at anything resembling a job. After all, it's sort of like sex, but with panty hose on. (I have a joke about that, but its sort of a visual thing. Ask me when you see me.) I laugh and joke and drink and play around. I'm a happy girl at work. It shows.

I also don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with sex or with enjoying your sexuality. After all, sex was the beginning of my kid and everybody else I love. It keeps the human race going. It is simply a part of us, an undeniable physical drive coupled with the potential to produce intense pleasure. Why complicate something so simple and good with a bunch of taboos, guilt, conditions, or other craziness?

Lots of womens' magazines (like Cosmopolitan) like to write articles about how "sexy" is an attitude. They tell you that the key to sexiness is confidence. I know plenty of attractive, confident women who are not especially sexy (Hillary Clinton comes to mind). What's really sexy, if you ask me, is someone who genuinely likes sex.

So if that makes me a slut, then sign me up.

My Original FAQ

This is my original FAQ. New questions will be answered here in my Blog.

Feel free to e-mail me and ask me anything. Doesn't everybody like to talk about themselves? ;)

About being a stripper:

Do you like your job? Why?

I love my job. It is fun and interesting, physically challenging and very sexual. I love talking to people and establishing that intimacy that makes a dance really good. Being on stage is fun, too.

Do you do private shows and bachelor parties?

Why yes, I do. Please e-mail me for more information.

What is your fondest memory of being a stripper?

Once when I was very young, maybe 19 or so, I did a bachelor party almost up on the Wisconsin border. At the end, I would always pose with the bachelor, usually sitting on his lap. So when I sat down on this guy’s lap, he whispered in my ear, “Thank you. I will never for get you.” I thought that was so sweet. I went by the stage name Vixen in those days so if you are out there, sweetie, I will never forget you, either.

What are you going to tell your son about your job?

I hate that question, because it implies that I ought to be ashamed of what I do, and I’m not. I mean, do mail carries and accountants and even mainstream models agonize about how to tell their kids about their jobs? What I will tell him, if is ever an issue, is that I entertain people. It’s as honest a job as anything else. The only shame in it would be to be dishonest or in some way harm someone else.


You started out your career doing bar lingerie shows. What was it like the first time you walked in front of strangers in your underwear?

Strange. Scary. I felt very exposed and vulnerable. The bar was on Ashland Avenue on the South side (of Chicago) The guys were all a bunch of South-side Irishmen, all big, loud, blue-collar guys with big hands and big mouths. They could have been very rough with me, and I never would have gone back. But I think they saw how terrified I was, and they were very nice to me. By the time I did my 3rd round, I felt right at home.


About sex:

What do you think is the best thing about sex?

The best thing is that it can be different every single time. Even if you have the same partner, you can play make believe or use toys or just shake things up a little. Each encounter even has its own mood—tender, rough, romantic, frenzied. The possibilities are just infinite.

When do you have your best fantasies?

This will sound funny, but I fantasize most when I am driving. I just got a new van, and there is something about the seat or the motor vibrations or something—I always seem to be slightly aroused whenever I am driving. Because driving is one of those no-brain things anyway, you just go on auto-pilot so much, half my brain really has time to make up some wild stuff!

Didn't you used to have a web page called "Sex is Fun"? Why did you choose that name?

Yes, that's me! I chose it because sex is fun. It’s playtime for grown-ups. Some of the best times I have ever had have been in the sack. I think people can take sex way too seriously, but what is it, really? Unless you are trying to have a baby, the only real purpose of it if for adults to play together in a physical way.

About me and my life in general:

Describe yourself in one word.

Multifaceted. Or maybe Complex. I am a dancer, a wife, a mother, an entertainer, a slut, a member of my church, and a weekend athlete. It's hard to think of one single word that works for me.

Is there a special talent you wish you had?

Speed reading. I love so much to read, and I am curious abut everything. I always have a big backlog of stuff I want to read, and it is all over my house and my car. I take magazines to read on my dinner break, a book in my tote-bag when I do errands (I might have to stand in a line somewhere!), even a newspaper to skim over at stop lights! I wish I could ride the train to work and read on the train, but it's not practical. So I do books on tape instead. It's the next best thing.

Name 3 things you can't live without.

Coffee, without a doubt. I’m not even safe to drive before my second cup. My computer, internet connection, and e-mail. I run my whole life on my computer. And all the people I love.

What is your biggest weakness?

I have several! Fashion magazines, definitely. I will buy them just for the headlines on the cover, who knows when I ever get time to read them all! Starbuck's Fat-free, sugar-free caramel machiato. It's my substitute for actual food. Cookies, especially homemade ones. Any beauty product that promises to solve all your problems over night, no matter how ridiculous the claim is. And—need I say it?—sex!

Who inspires you?

My son, who loves with abandon, forgives completely, and shows me the wonder in the everyday world. I want to be a mom he will always be proud of.
Candace Bergan, Goldie Hawn, and Reba McEntire, for being down to earth and remaining optimistic no matter what, and for aging so beautifully.
Joseph Campbell and Victor Hugo, for their amazing insights into timeless literature and the human mind.
Jesus Christ, St. Patrick, Copernicus, Galileo Galilei, Martin Luther, Ignaz Semmelweis, and thousands of other individuals who believed so strongly in their causes that they would risk everything for them.
T.Y., Derek Scholl, and my husband, who taught me more about love than any woman has a right to know.

What would we find on your Night Stand?

Dust! Actually, I have a huge book case headboard. It has a cabinet where I keep all my special (non-working) lingerie and sex toys. I also keep all kinds of books there, so I can read at night before I go to sleep.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Hmmmm…. The possibilities! First, I would pay off my son’s college fund and then pay off our house. I would buy some of the acreage behind me, so I could have a pond big enough to swim in and room for horses. And then I would have to buy the horses, of course! I would go on a huge shopping spree on Oak Street where the rich people shop, and then around Clark & Belmont, where the hip people shop. I would buy back my old condo on the north side of Chicago, and then take an incredible vacation. I would donate a huge pile of money to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Of course I would invest a lot of it. After that I would have to think about it.

If you could live in any other time period, what would it be?

I would be a courtesan in 16th century Italy. That was a time when adult entertainers were treated with a lot of respect, even awe. They were part of the court and hung out with the royalty. Courtesans were educated, accomplished, and independent. Not to mention, they had beautiful clothes, and Italy is a gorgeous place with a terrific climate.


What do you do in your free time?

Have lots of sex, what else? ;)
No, really, I have a lot of interests.
I love to read. I am working on all the “Classics.” I also love good erotica (I don't consider much of it really good).
I sing for my own fun and I rock at karaoke.
I volunteer in several community organizations.
I enjoy traveling, and I enjoy dressing up and going to living history events, like renaissance fairs and civil war reenactments.
I am an awesome cook, too. I cook all vegetarian food, but my guests never miss the meat in the things I make.
I like to entertain.
I love museums, art galleries, theater, and concerts of many types.
I am very active. I ice skate, dance, hike, and have a stripper pole in my home. I have a home gym and as of February 2008, I am just getting into working out with weights.
I also really like doing family stuff, and stuff with my son. It seems like we are always on the run.

You have a lot of bruises in some of the pictures. What on earth happened?

Thanks for your concern, but nobody is beating me. I left my first husband the first time he shoved me. I absolutely will not tolerate abuse. I slipped on my front porch right before the photo shoot, and it was too late to reschedule. But, I am very active. I ice skate, pole dance, do a bunch of other outdoor stuff, so I am always getting banged up somehow.

Are you ticklish?

Yes, but I only tell my members where ;)

Do you smoke?

Not anymore. I used to smoke, but I quit 2 years ago last Octobe! r.

About SC life:

Do you meet with your members?

I love meeting people. I will always be happy to allow my members to take me out for a meal or coffee, or a shopping spree.

Will you do custom work? How much does it cost?

I will definitely consider custom work, as long as it does not violate my one over-riding principle: I will not do anything that I would not want plastered on a billboard near my house. As for cost, that depends on what and how long the piece is, how much it will cost to produce (for props or settings or travel or whatever), and that indefinable pain-in-the-ass factor. If you want some custom work, please e-mail me with your ideas.

Will you do a picture set wearing ___________ ?

I will be very happy to do sets in almost any outfit you care to provide for me. As a special thanks for providing the outfit, I will send you a special set of 4 glossy 8 X 10 pictures of me wearing (or not wearing) the outfit.

Will you do pictures with other SC members?

I will certainly consider it. I will agree to work with other members on a case-by-case basis.

Will you be selling panties or other merchandise?

Yes, absolutely. If you are looking for panties, please email me to let me know what color, cut, etc. you are looking for. As for other merchandise, watch for a link on the main page soon.

How can I ask you more questions?

E-mail me at c_c_oreilly at yahoo dot com.