Here is a collection of completely dorky IM’s I have had the fun of receiving.
lastnighttogather: is this you >>>>>>>>>>>>>(referring to avatar)
c_c_oreilly: no actually I am a 50 year old fat bald guy who gets off on pretending to be a stripper.
lastnighttogather: =))
c_c_oreilly: about your screen name–I’m confused. last night to gather—what? Berries?
lastnighttogather: sorry bye pal
c_c_oreilly: you didn’t really believe me, did you?
c_c_oreilly: well, just for believing that, I am going to add you to my “Completely Dorky IM” List on my website, http://colleenoreilly.com
I can only believe that this person is a little bit . . . challenged. He apparently really believed that crack. A real middle aged man trying to impersonate a stripper would not give the game away that fast!
c_c_oreilly: read my profile and look at my website before you ask any more stupid questions
toodamnsharp: fuck u lool…i have read ur profile and u say there u do sex for fun….so how can I benefit from this?….this is not a stupid Q as u claimed
What my profile says is that I believe sex is fun. I do believe that. It ALSO says I am married and faithful to my husband and that I am NOT looking for an extra-marital relationship.
a_guy_of_chat: hi
c_c_oreilly: hi greg
a_guy_of_chat: hello Colleen
c_c_oreilly: what are you up to?
a_guy_of_chat: nothing at the moment
c_c_oreilly: same here. I just put dinner in the oven and am sitting down for a few minutes
a_guy_of_chat: i just got home a little earlier, was outside earlier and just got a shower and cleaned up
a_guy_of_chat: all alone here
c_c_oreilly: mmmmmmmmmmmkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
a_guy_of_chat: too bad i dont have any company
c_c_oreilly: I guess I know where that is leading
a_guy_of_chat: well, probably
c_c_oreilly: forget it.
c_c_oreilly: i am not here to view your stupid web cam or tell you a bedtime story for free
a_guy_of_chat: well, i see how it is then, you’re not worth paying for anyway
a_guy_of_chat: forget everything
c_c_oreilly: what, you expected me to perform a service like that for you, just because you asked me to?
This conversation is remarkable only in that I actually knew this person, and he knew I was married and I don’t fool around. Actually, come to think of it, it was somewhat remarkable that he actually thought I would do any of that for free, when I make it CLEAR that I am a PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER and I don’t do any of that stuff even for money. Sigh.
This next guy just won’t give up:
lustforlove2k (8/8/2006 5:25:51 PM): I love your sparkling eyes, I admire your strawberry lips, I adore your sweet smiles. You have very sweet, sensual, juicy chin. A girl with awesome forehead. You have very beautiful chin.I would love to taste it softly like a strawberry feeling your lower lip and chin gently sucking on it like a mango tasting all juices…You are very sweet princess.
Sucking on my chin? Ewwwwwwww……
Here he is again:
lustforlove2k (8/12/2006 12:06:03 AM): Lay down between the sheets let your body feel the need the lust overpowers makes your heart skip a beat. Feel the want and desire within you rise I see the look of temptation now burning in your eyes. Kissing you in places that only lovers see caressing you with fingers that can’t supress the need Torture feels so good when your deep inside me passion takes control and makes our love complete.
And again:
lustforlove2k:(4/12/07)
Rose petals
Soft and full
Delicate scent entices
Deep red hue of blood
Masking pink center
Fingertips caressing
Chasing traces of dew
Trailing trickles of moisture
Across lips eager to taste
Breathing deeply
Drawing close to the bloom
Unafraid of thorns
Craving
Longing
To crawl inside
To know
The heart of a rose
Stay tuned for more sap-tastic poetry from lustforlove2k. And now for something completely different:
sexy_raymond35 (9/16/2006 7:50:30 AM): Hello,Am Raymond,am from England and am looking for a representative in the states who will be working for us as a partime worker and we are willing to pay 10% for every transaction,which wouldnt affect ur present state of work,if u are interested pls am online u can chat with me.
This is supposed to look like a business proposal? Who is he kidding?
tony2182000: hi sexy the playpen an manhiem
ColleenOReilly: the one and only
tony2182000: do you meet
tony2182000: i live close bye
tony2182000: rosemont
tony2182000: im married and need descreat
tony2182000: you there sexy
ColleenOReilly: if you are married you should be banging your wife, or else get a divorce. I am an entertainer not a prostitute
ColleenOReilly: I wish I knew who your wife is so I could send her this conversation
ColleenOReilly: She deserves to know what a lying deceitful scumbag she married
tony2182000: im not the one who works at the play pen i know what goes on there
ColleenOReilly: apparently not as much as you think you do. We are all different and I am not cheating on MY spouse.
I have nothing to say to that.
tryitall28: My wife asked me to have a threesome with her and another man, do you think i should consider it?
ColleenOReilly: why on earth are you asking me?
I mean, do I LOOK like Dear Abby?
woltazar (11/15/2006 6:27:27 PM): i hope u r alive and have cam too
I hope I am alive, too. Why would he be IM’ing me if I wasn’t?
tw.barrister: How are you, wishing you a good day.I am Barrister Taiwo, i looked through your profile now and i was so very intrested in it. So i think i would like to have you as my girlfriend and maybe more later. Because i am looking for a woman that is highly qualified, understanding the life, takes care of her soulmate, independent, ready to assist me in all i do, and she must be very beautiful and attractive woman.Dear, if you find yourself as same as the above description, please don’t hesitate to drop me a message. Pls note; all your future dream will be provided to you. God blessing and Good luck all. Thanks. Barrister Taiwo Adekola.tw.barrister@yahoo.com. I am online on yahoo messenger too you can im me.
c_c_oreilly: I am so very happy to hear from you. I have always wanted to be a contract bride. Please respond immediately with your terms.
That concludes today’ s collection of Dorky IM’s. Stay tuned for more fun and games from Colleen’s Cyber Playground.
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