I just finished a fun shoot with my friend Rashied. We did 3 swimsuits and some fun pictures in a party dress and some stuff he needs for his work. All together, about 700 pics! And all for you, my dear followers. I also have some more pictures from my last shoot to put up. There is a set where I was playing in some dirt with some flowers, and a couple shower sets, washing off dirt and body paint. I can't wait to get those out to you!
Unfortunately our shoot got cut short today. First the photographer's car had a flat tire, then we got caught in some weather. As we were walking back from the beach, the temperature dropped from 85 degrees to 65 or even 60 in just an instant. It was like walking into a refrigerator. And the clouds were so....weird! Rashied took a few shots of them. I will put one up for you so you can see what I mean. Then the rain started. We managed to shoot about 40 really quick poses in the party dress in the sprinkle before the big storm started, but we wanted to do more. Maybe next time.
Anyway, I was feeling good about this shoot and just wanted to share.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
The answer is NOT 24601
Who am I?
Anyone who has seen Les Miserables will remember the scene where Jean Valjean, confronted with his sordid past, questions "Who am I?" Is he a respectable business man or a desperate ex-con on the run? Of course, he is both. The new life he has built for himself doesn't entirely cancel out the past. Much as he tries to deny it, his old life as a convict has woven itself into the fabric of his personality. Even though it is invisible from the surface, Jean Valjean's past is as inseparable from his future as the sub-basement is from a skyscraper.
Who am I?
Ever since I left the dancing world in Fall 2012 (Oh my GOD! was it that long ago?!) I have been wondering about that. There was never a "last day" of work at the bar. I just left one day and never went back. It took me at least a month before I could think in terms of "I used to be a dancer." After all, dancing was what I did for 9 years previously. Dancing was my first having-my-own-place, paying-my-own-bills job after high school. Dancing paid for my first home and a couple of car notes. Dancing literally put food on my table during most of my son's childhood. Aside from a short time in emergency medicine and my part-time job driving a horse carriage, dancing was the only job I ever really loved. Dancing made me happy.
When people asked me what I did for a living, I never said, "I dance in a bar." I always said, "I am an exotic dancer!" I was proud of it. I was proud that I was still making money dancing, even into my 40's, and I was proud of what I had done with my body. I was proud to be "old school," trading in fantasy and emotion, and not stooping (much) to simple uninspired physical stimulation. I felt strong and beautiful and able to keep up with any girl half my age, dance for dance, dollar for dollar.
Things change. My God, how they change....
Sitting on my ass with my nose in a book did stuff to my body, stuff I am anything but proud of. The first set of pictures I did since I have been done with school made me cry. Stranger yet, at my new job I don't talk about where I have been or who I used to be. I am back in health care. I wear a uniform and braid my hair down the back and look very clean and wholesome. My husband has worked for this same company for 12 years and I know there must be some people here who remember me from my stripping days, but no one has said anything. The official sotry is that I was home with my son since he was born, and I am sticking to it.
But like my favorite fictional character Jean Valjean, my past is still with me. You don't walk away from a 24-year career (with a few holes, it's true) and take nothing with you. Dancing was noat just what I did for money, a dancer was who I was.
So now who am I? I feel as if no longer relating to the world with my sexuality front and center, I am changed in some fundamental way. It's hard to describe, but I am a little more reserved now. I feel I have to think twice before I say something, because I no longer know how people might take it. What was appropriate to say in the bar, while wearing lingerie and sipping wine, is not appropriate to say to a patient or a co-worker. The street clothes I used to wear to and from work send a message I no longer wish to broadcast. What has changed? Is it just my surface presentation, or has there been a deep fundamental shift? Can a health-care professional be the same person as a stripper?
Just who the hell am I?
Anyone who has seen Les Miserables will remember the scene where Jean Valjean, confronted with his sordid past, questions "Who am I?" Is he a respectable business man or a desperate ex-con on the run? Of course, he is both. The new life he has built for himself doesn't entirely cancel out the past. Much as he tries to deny it, his old life as a convict has woven itself into the fabric of his personality. Even though it is invisible from the surface, Jean Valjean's past is as inseparable from his future as the sub-basement is from a skyscraper.
Who am I?
Ever since I left the dancing world in Fall 2012 (Oh my GOD! was it that long ago?!) I have been wondering about that. There was never a "last day" of work at the bar. I just left one day and never went back. It took me at least a month before I could think in terms of "I used to be a dancer." After all, dancing was what I did for 9 years previously. Dancing was my first having-my-own-place, paying-my-own-bills job after high school. Dancing paid for my first home and a couple of car notes. Dancing literally put food on my table during most of my son's childhood. Aside from a short time in emergency medicine and my part-time job driving a horse carriage, dancing was the only job I ever really loved. Dancing made me happy.
When people asked me what I did for a living, I never said, "I dance in a bar." I always said, "I am an exotic dancer!" I was proud of it. I was proud that I was still making money dancing, even into my 40's, and I was proud of what I had done with my body. I was proud to be "old school," trading in fantasy and emotion, and not stooping (much) to simple uninspired physical stimulation. I felt strong and beautiful and able to keep up with any girl half my age, dance for dance, dollar for dollar.
Things change. My God, how they change....
Sitting on my ass with my nose in a book did stuff to my body, stuff I am anything but proud of. The first set of pictures I did since I have been done with school made me cry. Stranger yet, at my new job I don't talk about where I have been or who I used to be. I am back in health care. I wear a uniform and braid my hair down the back and look very clean and wholesome. My husband has worked for this same company for 12 years and I know there must be some people here who remember me from my stripping days, but no one has said anything. The official sotry is that I was home with my son since he was born, and I am sticking to it.
But like my favorite fictional character Jean Valjean, my past is still with me. You don't walk away from a 24-year career (with a few holes, it's true) and take nothing with you. Dancing was noat just what I did for money, a dancer was who I was.
So now who am I? I feel as if no longer relating to the world with my sexuality front and center, I am changed in some fundamental way. It's hard to describe, but I am a little more reserved now. I feel I have to think twice before I say something, because I no longer know how people might take it. What was appropriate to say in the bar, while wearing lingerie and sipping wine, is not appropriate to say to a patient or a co-worker. The street clothes I used to wear to and from work send a message I no longer wish to broadcast. What has changed? Is it just my surface presentation, or has there been a deep fundamental shift? Can a health-care professional be the same person as a stripper?
Just who the hell am I?
I would like to have time to keep up a personal correspondent with each and every one of you, but of course I just can't. In order to keep up with you all, and allow you to keep up with me, I ma going to get my newsletter started again. If you would like to receive my newsletter, please fill out this form and send it back.The newsletter will include news about my personal and modeling life, updates to my Southern Charms site, previews of new picture sets posted, and spec ail offers just for newsletter members.
I hope you decide to join me in my continuing adventures. Please go here http://eepurl.com/tGwX5 and fill out the form.
I hope you decide to join me in my continuing adventures. Please go here http://eepurl.com/tGwX5 and fill out the form.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
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