An interesting surprise....

The best thing about my job is. . . . you never know what will happen.  


Today I got a visit form an old friend.  He isn't just an old friend . . . he's my old boyfriend.


Not just any old boyfriend  . . . my second ever boyfriend. 


Not just my second boyfriend . . . my first affair . . . my first lover . . . . 


And a huge formative influence in my life. 


I met this man when I was all of 18.  He is 10 years my senior.  At the time I had known only one boyfriend, whom I was engaged to marry, and had experienced only the kind of sex two high school virgins can have. 


This is the man who introduced me to coffee . . . alcohol . . . chocolate truffles (some of the greatest pleasures of my life)  . . . . not to mention, cunnilingus. 


Seriously, folks.  This is the first man with whom I experienced grown-up sex.  He had the pleasure of taking an 18-year-old almost-virgin and showing me that sex can be fun, exciting, playful . . . and not necessarily entwined with love.  


At the time I thought he was the smartest man I'd ever met, and that may still be the truth.   It was he, not my parents, who took me to see the Liberty Bell and the Statue of Liberty.  He spent years, on and off, showing me glimpses of a world outside the rural small town where I lived. He thought I was smart and beautiful and, because he believed it, sometimes I did, too. 


Eventually I joined the Army, in part because he had, and eventually we lost touch . . . . Eventually he found me again. 


I think it was 2 years ago, he found me on Facebook.  We had drinks.  He asked if he could come see me at work.  I refused. He came anyway one day and I humiliated him in front of God-n-everybody.  Regardless, we still have drinks sometimes.    


So he showed up again today.  Granted, I had told him it was OK for him to come, and i had promised not to yell at him again.  But I had no idea he was actually going to come.  


And, yeah, I danced for him. Was it strange? A little, but only if I thought about it.  Mostly it was wonderful. I loved dancing for this man.  It was incredible, being able to share this aspect of myself with someone who placed much of the foundation. I felt proud of what I had made of myself, from what he had given me. I felt sexy and beautiful and elegant and strong.  I felt amazing. 



So look, my friend, see what you did, what you gave me. See what I became. Be proud of me. Be proud of us.