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5 things boobs are NOT: 1. HANDLES. You can't grab them to move me around. 2. RADIO TUNIG KNOBS. No matter how hard you twist, you are not going to find your favorite station. 3. BABY BOTTLES. No milk here, bambino. 4. TEETHING RINGS. No biting! 'Nuff said. 5. ELEVATOR BUTTONS. The only thing that goes up if you try to push them all the way in is ME, up off your lap!
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